On The Waterfront

Calling all boaters and fishermen on Lake Erie: Are you protected by the waters that surround you? Have you ever been so cushioned by said waters? Are you wondering why I, now living in Arizona, am asking you this? While I would like to think you could steer some of that great fresh water down to our end of the country and help ease the drought in these parts, I'm not that naive. However, this, too, is a border state.

While growing up, it was easy to forget that Ohio was, in fact, on the border with Canada. We owned the fishing rights to only one-third of the lake. In some ways, it seemed like it was more Canada's responsibility to deal with the water than ours. Now, that's a bit immature to see it that way, but it does leave that impression. Our fishermen had access to only one-third of the entire lake? Whose water was this, anyway?

However, as an adult, it becomes clear how precious that chunk of water is. Now, I'm not suggesting that southern Ontario is a threat to northern Ohio. We never had any major problems, that we knew of, while I was a kid. I suppose you could say we were relatively safe. There are several islands in Lake Erie that one could think are populated to protect the mainland. The truth, however, is that those people are no more equipped to defend this country than anyone else is on the mainland.

Therefore, if President Bush wants to say that the oceans are protecting us, he has that right under our First Amendment. The problem is that his First Amdendment rights stop where mine, and yours, begins. Thus, the real answer to his riddle is this: water is not an easy thing to conquer, but this also is not the age of Magellan and Columbus. Anyone with enough dough can buy a submarine. Do they make them for shallow water? I don't know, but there are other methods one can use to sail from The Atlantic to The Great Lakes. Given that only five percent of all of our ports' cargo gets checked these days, it seems safe to say that that other ninety-five percent could make its way to my hometown of Port Clinton, and no one in Washington, D. C., would have a clue it existed.

So, Mr. President, given that your family has a seaside retreat in Kennebunkport, Maine, do you think that maybe you could stop trying to treat me, and everyone else on our nation's bodies of water, like we're complete fools? By the way, from where I sit in Arizona, it's about a ten hour drive to Los Angeles. That's another major port of entry. How safe do our oceans make us? Hmmm? Oh, yeah, that's right. You're not necessarily in business to tell us the truth. What else is new?